Should I seek closure from ex?

I dated this guy on and off for over 2 years. Like all relationships we had good times and we had bad times, but it seemed like every time we started talking again after a break that we had such an amazing connection as if we fell in love all over again. A year before our last break up I found out he had been lying about seeing an ex (more like she was forcing herself in his life by hanging out with his friends) so we broke up, but then I found out I was pregnant. I told him in not the best way and he flipped out on me which was understandable. We stayed in touch and would meet up whenI needed a shoulder to cry on. I had a miscarriage about a month after and went through a surgery by myself. He didnt bother calling or being there with me. I hated him for that. Well like 8 months later we started talking and he wanted to meet for lunch so I agreed. He broke up with that girl that day and moved in with me. it was stupid in me. I know that now, but there is something about him that I cant let go. A week before my birthday I found pictures on her facebook with them together. I texted him and told him to f*** off. Well to make a long story short he married her a couple of months ago. I wanted so bad to contact him and stop him, but I just watched as it happened (his best friend called me and it seemed to me he was wanting me to talk him out of getting married) lately he's been texting me saying pretty much that he's unhappy and wish he would have waited to get married. I asked him what if I would have asked him not to get married...he didn't really know what to say because I asked it out of nowhere one day. I have these uncontrollable feelings for him that I can not get to go away. I left the country for the summer with no contact to the states, but that didn't help. I've tried dating but I compare people to him. I need closure. I need it so bad. I need these "what ifs" to get out of my head and to stop interfering with my life, my happiness. I need advice: I need to know how to get closure from the miscarriage, cheating, and the what ifs; whether is through him or just within myself.